Tag Archives: bikini

Life update #1: Dear Melie, I am less fat:


I’ve not really done one of these in a while, a chatty life blog post that is. I thought I should start a mini-series of life updates. Today is a headachy, PMS day where I can’t focus on work, and feel like writing. My best friend Amelia is involved in an altercation with some wallpaper in her kitchen, so her responses to my chatty/badgering Whatsapps are sporadic to say the least (I have more than one friend, honest)… SO darling Mil, this one is for you, and also for the cathartic joy of writing things down, thus feeling my chaotic life is in order because I have narrated it to you through the medium of my often neglected baby aka emmasteive.com.  I hope for anyone who knows me, this reads funny, and I hope for anyone who doesn’t know me, that you don’t think I am a total nutter. Caveat: this will be largely unedited and written as these thoughts come into my head, fresh and organic yo. Here goes…


Excuse the mess. Our cleaner has been unwell. #firstworldproblems.

Excuse the mess. Our cleaner has been unwell. #firstworldproblems.


Firstly and in no order of life updates importance, but something I am thrilled with – I HAVE LOST 10 POUNDS! Now before anyone who doesn’t weigh themselves retorts that 10lbs is really not that much and they can sweat that out in one afternoon playing rounders, as I have recently been told by a large man at work, go fill a bag with 10 tins of baked beans and PICK UP THAT MOTHER FUCKER. It’s a big ol’ weight. My aim is to lose a stone to a stone and a half, or 21 lbs to my American readers, before mincing off on holiday to Sardinia in a few weeks. There will be an awful lot of frolicking around in a bikini, lying on boats, jumping off boats, exploring sleepy little towns, and finding gorgeous deserted beaches. I am really looking forward to soaking up all the Sardinian beachy beauty with salty hair and flip flop tan lines. Aimee and I have hired a convertible car to wizz around in, I expect we will return it full of sand and Italian men. Can you tell how much I love the whole club 18 – 30 thing? *vomits*.



SO, I am indeed less fat, and excited about my holiday. Next life update coming tomorrow. This series of posts could be called Emma’s Ephemera – brief and only relevant for a short while. I hope you enjoy!