So for those of you who have been slaves to the bikini wax spending £12720910 over the years having your pubes ripped out… this one will be a life changer, or at least it has been for me.
I am really quite ok with the discomfort of a Hollywood or Brazilian wax. It is not something I do for the opposite sex, especially as I have come to realise that the majority of men don’t care too much about what your lady garden looks like, as long as it’s not in any way comparable to Tom Hank’s beard in Castaway. I love the squeaky clean feeling you get after wax, everything down-there is a lot smoother and lets face it… the compressed muff squashed underneath a pair of beautiful lace knickers is not a good look. It really feels like I am justifying this to the feminist school of thought staunchly against such hair removal – Caitlin Moran I am looking at you! I am indeed a feminist myself – just one that HATES being hairy. End of conversation.
What really started to bother me about waxing is the utter inconvenience, especially when decent beauticians are booked up, ESPECIALLY in central London, only available with a minimum of 2 weeks’ notice – which rarely coincides with my penchant for last minute holidays. The constant expense at anywhere between £25 and £60 a time, adds up over the year to quite a sum. This is without mentioning the burns, dry flakey skin and moment when bits of wax left on sore skin gets STUCK to your knickers and going to the loo becomes a moment out of a horrible nightmare where you can’t remove your pants without almost pulling off your own labia. It could be a scene out of Saw. Men have NO idea what we endure. Not a clue. So, in the spirit of putting a more long-term outlook on my investments, I started to research a permanent solution. Enter, the laser.
I had been curious about zapping away all future hair growth since watching Khloe Kardashian laugh her way through the procedure on KUWTK (guilty pleasure). Expensive? Yes, but the savings on time and money seem to make it completely worthwhile. Plus Groupon have got you covered on dozens of clinics around London. I underwent a lot of research and had some personal recommendations. It must be appreciated that this is a cosmetic procedure with the potential to burn and scar. My girlfriend Hannah S is another waxing-mad person, curious about laser – but as a solicitor she has been put off by dealing with claims for people who have been badly burnt, it’s important to know the risks. My other kickass lawyer girlfriend Hannah B has been lasered and couldn’t recommend it enough. I couldn’t find a definite answer as to whether or not laser hair removal can cause cancer? But it seems these days that everything causes cancer… and I HATE being stuck to my pants.
Finding a clinic
So I decided to go with a clinic that specialises in laser hair removal – very important to me that this is the one thing they do all day every day. I investigated quite a few clinics on Harley Street but the aesthetician that would have done my laser hair removal – also does Botox, and fillers and glycolic peels. Jack of all trades… No thank you.
I opted for the New York Laser Clinic in Fulham, as it was close to home and had lots of glowing reviews – they have clinics around London and my friend Tia (gorgeous model, blogger and cool girl – check her out here) recommended them to me. All the reviews seemed genuine and laser was their speciality. They have the latest laser tech called Candella (different and apparently more effective than traditional IPL). After a consultation exploring my medical history, I had a patch test to see if laser was right for me. It didn’t hurt, instead it felt uncomfortable and quite hot, but that was it. I then had to wait 48 hours to monitor any reaction before knowing if laser was ok for my rather sensitive and easily marked skin (PLEASE GOD).
Actually being lasered
I passed! No reaction. Booked myself in. Before the appointment you have to shave all the hair you never want to see again. Maybe the WORST part of the whole experience for me was the itch-fest in my pants the next day. Since I opted for a Brazilian, you leave whatever shaped patch of hair you want at the front… a strip, a triangle, a Nike tick – whatever floats your boat. At this point I did wonder if I would regret the permanent nature of laser hair removal, and how some people don’t like notably fuzz-free vaginas… then I remembered it’s not about what anyone else likes, I wanted it. No more waxing. Matter settled. Then I went back to the clinic again and put on some sexy goggles as the aesthetician drew white squares all over the area (in-between and around the lips in case you are wondering) and then started to zap away before turning me over and zapping again. The whole thing takes about 15 mins and is nothing more than slightly uncomfortable (for me anyway). Amazingly … the next few days no hair grew back nada, literally nothing – until about 10 days later little bits of fine hair tried to grow then just sort of pathetically fell out. You must avoid sun and fake tan before and after your laser session for a while as this can cause blistering. If any fake tan is lingering be sure to don some exfoliating gloves and scrub it off.
I have gone for my third out of six sessions which happen every six weeks. The situation down there is looking very smooth and fuzz-free. So far I am amazed by the results and could not be more relieved by the fact that I will never stick to my pants again. Hurrah!