Being born female is like inheriting a palatial home, enchanting, exciting and ruinously expensive to maintain. I should really say, being a well put together female is expensive, but very few women who read this blog will be the types to fester in a tracksuit all day.
Fear not, this is not a moan aimed at men or society – I like taking care of myself, smelling nice, looking good etc. This is mostly despair at the optional and quite self-imposed costs of being a preened, polished, well-honed and glossy-manned woman. More specifically, you must understand that this list of costs I’m about to share with you… it isn’t excessive, it’s actually pretty standard for childless, professional women living in London. Essentials like tampons, hairdresser appointments – blow dries are becoming a habit of mine now. When I can afford to NEVER wash my own hair, this is the mark of becoming a big shot success, living the blow-dried dream. Then we need all these other beauty aids, pedicures in the summer cost me £50 a month, hair removal, clothing, BRAS. This is before we appreciate that women on average earn a whopping 30% less than men (overall in the UK) and are the ones who have to watch their career go Titanic when the question “but who will look after the children!?” rears it’s ugly head.
A whole load of my beauty product favourites decided to run out at the same time this month. It hurt. I totted up my physical upkeep costs over the past four weeks, sure to strip out completely unnecassary indulgences like By Terry Baume De Rose. It looked something like this:
Gym membership £99 (standard for London)
Blow dry x1 (with a hefty discount) £28
Cleansing oil (to remove the expensive foundation) £28
Tights (for when you haven’t shaved your legs) £12
A razor (for when you need to shave your legs) £5 – always on offer
Sanitary towels/tampons £5
Acid toner £11
Mascara £19 (the Chantecaille one with hefty discount)
Dry cleaning £15
Re-heeled heels £7.50
Shower gel £1.50
Shampoo & conditioner £12
Xentan (winter essential – again, with a discount) £14
Contact lenses £36
Winter jumper (from H&M) £24
Scary isn’t it.