This blog post isn’t just about doing your makeup on the train. It is so much more than that. It’s about respect for your limited time in the mornings (limited time in life?!) streamlined efficiency worthy of a high-five from Bear Grylls, building core strength, finding calm and focus on a packed rickety District Line tube carriage. This is the ultimate exercise in not giving a shit about what people around you think, a life goal in itself – which can be honed through quick application of your face on a moving train surrounded by 187,693 sleepy strangers.
I have become a more well-rounded and efficient human for doing my makeup on the tube. If a woman can curl her eyelashes on the tube… she can do anything. This is why I have put this skill on my CV.
For time saving, calm boosting, beautifying, motherfcking efficiency… see my 7 top tips for doing your makeup on the train LIKE A BOSS:
1. Do your base at home
Slap on a bit of foundation and concealer with your hands and/or a beauty blender, this takes 2 mins. It’s best to get this messy bit out the way and not worth trying this on a rattling tube train. NARS Sheer Glow all over someone else’s coat, is not worth risking.
2. Get a seat
And by “get” I mean wrestle your way into one, wear a “baby on board” badge, fake a limp, whatever. Just sit down. I do not advise you put on a full face of makeup standing up… if you succeed at this, tell me how… you are my hero.
3. Compact Palettes
Ones with big mirrors are your friend; they house all your blushers and eyeshadows and stop you from faffing about with individual compacts. My most used palettes are the NARS Virtual Domination cheek palette and Charlotte Tilbury’s eyeshadow palettes. Double ended brushes are a godsend too. Whack it on, blend it out. Job done.
4. Your lap is a self-contained makeup station
Keep your makeup in your bag, and keep your bag firmly on your lap.
5. No smudges
USE TUBING FORMULA MASCARA, i.e. Kevyn Aucoin Volumizing Mascara. I love this stuff. If it gets on your face or eyelid… it wipes off clean, rather than smudging everywhere. Also… If like me, you have to use liquid liner, then apply this at the station stops.
6. Steer clear of
Setting sprays, loose powder, pigment pots and anything with a pipette. Unless you are Thomasin*.
7. Do not look up
… some people (who are not playing Candy Crush) will be staring at you, with a combination of bemused intrigue and total respect. This will most likely make you feel self conscious and thus hinder your creativity and progress. Head down, get on with it. Just last week an old italian lady congratulated me on completing a full Victoria’s Secret inspired face between Parsons Green and Earls Court.
Some time ago, I was on the escalator ascending Warren Street tube station, ahead of me was Thomasin (shout out), the designer who sits opposite me at work… she was doing her liquid liner flicks on a MOVING ESCALATOR, people walking past her and everything. This was a memorable moment of awe and appreciation for her mad eyeliner skills. I was so inspired. Thanks Thomasin!